Buck & Jane
A Death in the Family
Decker & Hayes
Epic Echoes
The Great Muppet Debate
Guard Duty
Like Mother, Like Daughter
Stage Blood



Decker & Hayes, Series Two
Episode 3 - 1988

By Daniel Schwartz

Mama Wang
Derrick Washburn
Macy Hayes
Lexi Grayson

(drip of water)

Narrator: Sometimes things don’t always go as expected. Stella Decker, one of Parlortown’s premier lady detectives, could attest to that. An ordinary case last year had landed her partner and lover, ex-CIA operative Macy Hayes, behind bars for murder. Now, after eighteen months of sending comforting letters and getting back knit potholders, a man had come into her life with a sob story as strange as it was tearful. Derrick Washburn’s son had been kidnapped, he said, and he needed someone with Agency experience to deal with it. Stella smelled foul play, and had followed the trail to a familiar location.

Stella: (knocking) Hey, open up!

(door opening)

Lucky: Stella?

Stella: Lucky?

Lucky: (laughing) Stella! How ya doin’, sweet cheeks?

Stella: (also happy) Oh my god, I didn’t know you worked here! Since when does Mama Wang hire men?

Lucky: Since she needed someone big and scary to keep the creeps away. South Tip’s never been the best neighborhood.

Stella: Ain’t that the truth. Still, guess with you guarding the place there isn’t much to worry about.

Lucky: Not most nights. Bein’ the size of a bus’ll stop most people from stirring up trouble. (sound of water dripping) So what the hell are you doing here?

Stella: I’ve actually got a couple of questions for Mama. Can I see her?

Lucky: Give me a sec.

Narrator: Lucky picked up the handle of a phone on the wall and whispered into it. Stella hadn’t seen Lucky John White in almost twenty years, but he hadn’t changed all that much. He was about seven feet by six feet, the kind of guy who shakes the earth when he walks. He got his nickname because people would rather let him win than face his anger when he lost. The two had saved each other’s lives on several occasions. Finally Lucky replaced the phone.

Lucky: She’ll be down in a sec. So whatcha bin doin’?

Stella: Kickin’ ass, takin’ names. You still a Blade?

Lucky: Hey, a man’s gotta stick by his friends. (beat, drip of water) Sheesh, what’d I say to get that face?

Stella: Somebody shot Tasha, Lucky.

Lucky: What? When?

Stella: This morning, outside my office. The ambulance barely came in time.

Lucky: She’s at Cherry Street?

Stella: (scoffing) You think I’d leave her in that slaughterhouse? Got her up to St. Margaret’s.

Lucky: (relieved) Thank God. Now what are we gonna do about it?

Stella: I hadn’t planned that far. (beat, drip of water) How much of the old crew is still around?

Lucky: Well, Crash’s girl shot him, she’s up at Babylon. Undaground OD’d back in ’91. Sam’s working with the Mayor’s office…pretty much just Rick, Shooter, Jane an’ me.

Stella: That’s still some pretty heavy hitters. Have them come to my office tomorrow. You come too; let’s see if we can’t set this straight.

Lucky: Right on, Stella. They’ll never know what hit ‘em.

Mama: Hopefully not, Mr. White. I have a reputation to maintain.

Narrator: Celeste Wang had been brought over from China with her parents when she was two. Parlortown was a hard place to grow up for a young immigrant girl, but being a little too clever and a little too crazy had propelled her to the top of the dung heap before too long. A little Mae West and a little Lucy Liu, her glamorous outfits and shameless pandering made her the richest madam in a city full of whores. She smiled at Stella.

Mama: Well well well, if it isn’t South Tip’s most famous daughter. How are you doing these days, dear?

Stella: I’m in kind of a bind, Mama. I need your help.

Mama: You don’t even need to ask, dear. Come up to my office. (Climbing up stairs, drip of water) You’ll have to excuse the mess, things have been a little hectic lately.

Stella: Everything okay?

Mama: I’m getting ready to retire, split up my business to a few, deserving souls.

Stella: Don’t tell me you’re getting too old for this.

Mama: Well, no, dear, I have AIDS.

(beat, drip of water)

Stella: Mama, I –

Mama: - you were always good to an old whore, Stella. You’ve moved on, but you’re South Tip down to your shoes. Mama Wang takes care of her own. What can I do to help?

Stella: I…I…need some information about one of your clients.

Mama: Oooh, honey, you know I can’t do that. People come to me for my discretion.

Stella: But I –

Mama: - So you didn’t hear it from me, okay?

Stella: (pause, then laugh) My lips are sealed.

Mama: So, who’s the john?

Stella: A new guy in town, Derrick Washburn. Stays at the Arizona.

Mama: Black Armani, pinstripes?

Stella: He was wearing a suit, yeah.

Mama: (sighs) how can you be so lovely and know so little about clothes? Anyway, I know the one you’re talking about. Asked for Justine.

Stella: Do I know her?

Mama: She’s pretty new. She took over for Sara after Sara went into business for herself.

Stella: A dominatrix?

Mama: The things men like.

Stella: Ew. (drip of water) So what’s his deal?

Mama: Dresses too well for feds and stays in digs too crappy for corporate crime. From what I can tell he’s mob. One of those consultants they bring in, you know? Probably out to ice someone.

Stella: He’s a hit-man?

Mama: How many masochists do you know keep an automatic in their sock drawer?

Stella: Oh my god…

Mama: What, hon? You look pale.

Stella: Mama, this man came to my office yesterday with some sob story about his son being kidnapped. He was asking about Macy…

Mama: You think he was here to kill her?

Stella: I need to get to Babylon…need to warn her…

(distant shots)

Mama: What was that?

Stella: I think I brought some trouble down on your head, Mama.

Washburn: A world of it, Ms. Decker. (drip of water)

Mama: Don’t you go waving a gun around in my office, you crazy son of a bitch!

Washburn: Ms. Wang, I’ve already dispatched with your doorman. Don’t force me to soil your dress with your exploded brain. Now, Ms. Decker, you and I need to talk.

Stella: Shut up and die, asshole.

Washburn: Women. Can’t live with them.

Narrator: Before Washburn could pull the trigger, Stella grabbed her chair and threw it at him. The impact wasn’t enough to take him out, but it got him on the ground. Stella pinned him and leaned into his ear.

Stella: (brutal whisper) I don’t know who the hell you are, but you’re in for a world of hurting, jackass.

Narrator: There was a sudden blur of motion and Stella was on the ground, a knife against her throat.

Washburn: Welcome back to reality, Ms. Decker. Let’s try this again.

Mama: You leave her alone!

Washburn: Shut up and stay out of this, madam, or I’ll slit her throat and then go to work on you.

(Furniture smashing, Washburn groans)

Stella: Thanks, Mama.

Mama: Nobody threatens my girls, Stella. I’ll get some rope from Justine.

(drip of water)

Macy: (tired, sorrowful voice. She’s all but run out of sobs) One thousand nine hundred and seventy-nine.

Narrator: Macy Hayes had forgotten how long she’d spent tied to this table, in this dark and featureless room. She’d forgotten how many times she’d lost count, of the drops of water hitting her face. She’d forgotten how tired she was from hours of struggling in her restraints to no effect. She counted now because there wasn’t anything else to do but go insane.

(door opening and closing)

Lexi: (Bright and charming) How’s our little patient doing now? All rested up? Toe doing better? Getting enough to drink?

(beat, drip of water)

Macy: One thousand nine hundred and eighty.

Lexi: Poor, simple Macy. You thought you were the only one who left the Company for private work? (taking on a more bitter tone) You thought you were the only one who could abandon her friends, her partners, the people who depend on her, to earn a few extra bucks? You thought you had the monopoly on selfish betrayal? (almost shrieking) You make me SICK! I TRUSTED you, you stupid piece of trash! If Lansberg didn’t want you alive I’d have already killed you with my bare goddamn HANDS!

(drip of water)

Macy: One thousand nine hundred and eighty-one.

Lexi: That’s all you’ve got, huh? Sold out to goddamn Cross, for god’s sake. Left me high and dry in Mexico City. What happened to partners, huh? The woman who made blankets for my kids? Where’d she go? Off to whore herself out to whoever could pay her bills. So much for honor.

(drip of water)

Macy: One thousand nine hundred and eighty-two.

Lexi: Lansberg’s not Company, Macy. He’s not even private security. He’s just some Mafioso who wants to have you as a hired hand. He’s paying me to break you. Good thing we went through torture prep together, right? I know all the things you hate. (lowering voice slowly to a whisper) I know all the things that make…you…freak.

(drip of water)

Macy: One thousand nine hundred and eighty-three.

(drip of water)

Macy: One thousand nine hundred and eighty-four.

(drip of water)

Macy: One thousand nine hundred and eighty-five.

(drip of water)

Macy: One thousand nine hundred and eighty-six

(drip of water)

Macy: One thousand nine hundred and eighty-seven…

(drip of water. Long scream, then sobs)

Lexi: (over the sobs) That’s my Macy. Cracking under the pressure.

Narrator: Now that Lexi has broken Macy’s will, how far will she go to reprogram her? What answers can Stella wring from the mysterious Mr. Washburn? Can the scum of South Tip avenge these attacks on two of their own? The adventure continues in the next episode of Decker & Hayes: The Way It Used To Be.

Go to Episode 4