Buck & Jane
A Death in the Family
Decker & Hayes
Epic Echoes
The Great Muppet Debate
Guard Duty
Like Mother, Like Daughter
Stage Blood



Epic Echoes, Series 2
Episode 6 - Something Underhanded

By Guenevere Eckert


Narrator: The Flash Pack had seen their share of freak happenings and very bad days. But they never expected that the two would collide on Election Day. They had finally figured out the source of the subliminal radio waves, and even what a few of them said. Now, with the poll stations empty, they were running out of time to end the madness and get the country out to vote.

Stellof: You guys don’t mind if I turn on the radio, do you?

Everyone: No!

Narrator: Dr. Stellof reached out to turn the radio on. Suddenly, Furtrace jumped out of nowhere and landed on Stellof’s arm, sinking his claws in deep.

Stellof: AAAAGGHHH!!!!!

Narrator: Stellof flung his arm about until Furtrace dislodged and went flying across the room.

Furtrace: (yowl angrily)

Stellof: What in the world is that mangy cat doing?? Get it out of the laboratory!

Furtrace: That’s cat man, thank you! And I just saved us from the great doctor’s itty miniscule brain!

Stellof: All I wanted was a little music while I worked! It helps me think more clearly!

Molly: Dr. Stellof! Every radio station, television station, and I think even those singing dolls?

Narrator: Keane checked a monitor and nodded the affirmative.

Molly: Even singing toys are broadcasting Gonzolo’s music. If you turn it on, we’ll be blasted with the same subliminal demands that we’re trying to save the rest of the planet from!

Furtrace: Duh!

Max: Why don't you guys take Mr. Fuzzbotham here and call up Jimmy and Slotter? Let them know what's going on.

Narrator: Keane, Drallus, and Furtrace left the laboratory, and moments later were on hold, waiting for Jimmy to be called out of a meeting.

Jimmy: Sara, I know this may sound harsh, but tomorrow is Election Day and we’re in the middle of a briefing, so this had better be important.

Drallus: Jimmy, it’s about Slade Gonzolo.

Jimmy: You guys are interrupting this meeting to tell me about a Pop Sensation???

Keane: Yes, the pop sensation. Look, he’s an alien, and now he’s brainwashed a good majority of the teenagers of on earth.

Jimmy: Congratulations. You’re geniuses. Why is this important to me now?

Slotter: I’ll take that young man. Hey Keane, what’s up?

Furtrace: Thank goodness. A voice of reason.

Drallus: I trust you heard everything of what we just said?

Slotter: Yeah. You’d think they’d have volume control on the phones in the super secret offices of this place.

Drallus: Well, we’ve cracked a few of the subliminal messages. They started with simple slogans: Slade’s the best, I heart Gonzolo. Glitter and platform shoes for all. Then it changed to instructions.

Keane: Buy Gonzolo’s albums. Share Slade with your friends. Et cetera.

Drallus: Seven hours ago, every radio station in the world started playing the same song. Over and over again. Three hours ago it went to television. We can't get a lock on what the message is because we can't listen to it. But I think this is it. Nobody’s going anywhere. Cars are stopped, nobody’s walking around. Everyone is glued to the radio. Something’s going to happen. And it’s not going to be good.

Slotter: Thanks for the update guys, but I still agree with Jimmy. Why is it imperative that we know this right now?

Drallus: If the planet turns into a bunch of pop music zombie slaves this afternoon, not only will we have to reverse the process and hope we can save everybody instead of stopping it the first place, but I really don’t think Jimmy’s going to do too well in the election.

Narrator: Slotter turned to look at Jimmy. The fear plainly showing on her face.

Slotter: What do we do?

Keane: Get Marsh, for god’s sake, get your videophone, and get into a soundproof bunker. Don’t come out until you hear from us.

Narrator: Drallus left the communications chamber and headed back to the laboratory.

Drallus: Hey, Max? Could I borrow you for a second?

Max: Sure Drallus, what’s up?

Drallus: Well, there’s something I need to show you…back in my room.

Narrator: Molly flinched and rolled her eyes.

Max: Can’t it wait until later Drallus? We’re kind of busy right now.

Drallus: Max, I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks! Why do you keep brushing me off?

Max: I’m sorry, Drallus! I just don’t have time for this right now! I know it may seem simple to you, reconfiguring a broadcast to override every radio and television station, plus, you said toy dolls? But if both Molly and Dr. Stellof haven’t figured it out yet, I really don’t think-

Drallus: Molly, and Dr. Stellof, Max. Not you.

Max: I need to be here when they fix the radio. We need to be able to-

Stellof: I’ve got it!

Molly: You’ve got it?

Narrator: Max ran over to Molly and the doctor.

Max: He’s got it?

Stellof: No.

Narrator: when Max looked back to the doorway, Drallus was gone.

Drallus: Sara, I need to show you something.

Kean: Sure Drallus, what is it?

Narrator: The girls were in Drallus’s room. She reached under her pillow and pulled out a dark crystal looking thing.

Drallus: I found it a few months ago. I wanted to show Max, but…

Keane: Max is a nincompoop. And I’m still not seeing what it is?

Drallus: Keane, it’s a communicator. I’ve been contact-

Keane: FURTRACE!!!!

Narrator: Drallus turned to see Furtrace, in the outer chamber of her rooms, paused and looking like a deer caught in headlights. Keane leapt from the bed, grabbed a squirt bottle full of water from the windowsill, and ran towards the catman, who suddenly regained his ability to sprint.


Narrator: Keane caught up with Furtrace by the elevator and grabbed him by the nape of his neck.

Keane: HOW many TIMES do I HAVE to TELL you? STAY AWAY from Drallus’s STUFF!!

Narrator: She sprayed the cat in the face over and over again, before throwing him, still yowling to beat the band, into the elevator, and pressed the down button.

Keane: He get anything important?

Drallus: No. Just sprayed the same pair of shoes again. I think I’m going to have to throw them out.

Narrator: Meanwhile, in the laboratory:

Molly: I’ve got it!

Stellof: you’ve got it?

Molly: I’ve got it!

Max: She’s got it!

Narrator: He leaned on the intercom.

Max: Drallus! Keane! Get down here, Molly’s got it!

Narrator: Indeed, Molly had got it.

Molly: You see here? We didn’t need to bypass that second circuit in order to get the emitter bugs to absorb the signal. We had it right the first time, when we plugged the main message into them through the sub-woofer and the jello. They just didn’t have enough corporeal energy to get the signal as large as we wanted it to.

Max: Uh... what is it that you ‘got’?

Molly: They’re hungry. I’d like to see you broadcast a signal all over the planet with nothing to eat for breakfast.

Stellof: So, what do we feed them?

Molly: That’s where you come in, Dr. Hand me one of those crates of bananas you always carry around with you.

Stellof: Ooooh. Nonono!

Molly: For real, Stellof. We need the bananas.

Stellof: Miss Singh! You do not understand! Remember, I have a condition! I can only eat bananas, or my larynx will shrink, my head will expand, my respiratory system will turn neon blue, my toes will fall off and-

Max: Dude. Stop. That’s gross.

Stellof: It feels even worse.

Molly: Dr. Stellof. Tomorrow morning, I will personally take you to the rainforest and handpick you an entire bushel of bananas myself. Unless you do not hand over a crate of them right now. Because if you don’t, there wont be a point! Because the world will be crawling with what we’re pretty sure are going to be DANCING ZOMBIES!

Stellof: But why do you need my bananas?

Molly: Doctor, what is the main ingredient needed for an emitter bug to emit?

Narrator: The doctor sat uncomfortably in silence.

Max: Ooh! I know! Fiber! They need fiber! Molly, you’re a genius!

Molly: Thank you, Max. Now will you kindly explain to the good doctor what an excellent source of fiber bananas are, and the fact that all the grocery stores are closed at this hour?

Narrator: Dr. Stellof grudgingly handed over a crate of his precious bananas. Molly sliced them, arranged them nicely on a dish, sprinkled them with sugar-

Molly: A little extra boost in energy.

Narrator: and placed them in front of the emitter bugs. The poor insects, having been pummeled with electrodes and coded messages all day, swarmed the plate. The bananas were gone in minutes. Molly sliced up more bananas while Max carefully carried the cage full of bugs to the window, and placed it on the sill.

Max: So. How do we make it work?

Stellof: Theoretically, Mr. Thornfield, the emitter bugs should start to broadcast the signal on their own.

Narrator: They all stared at the cage. Nothing happened.

Molly: oh dear. I thought for sure that the bananas would do it.

Narrator: she plunked the rest of the sliced bananas in with the bugs and walked off. The bugs, for their part, swarmed, then started humming and pulsing different colors.

Max: Molly! Molly it’s working! I think! Something’s happening! Tell us if it’s good!

Narrator: Molly dashed back to the window and started laughing.

Molly: It’s working! Oh Max, it’s working!

Narrator: Drallus and Keane came skidding into the room. Keane took one look, and ran to a console.

Keane: It worked! Slade’s broadcast has stopped! The satellite shows people coming out of their homes! Your message worked!

Narrator: Five minutes later, news broadcasts stated that the pop star had been arrested and deported back to his home planet to be quarantined and dealt with according to his own laws. Which means the death sentence. They also reminded everyone that there were still a few hours left before the polls closed. Meanwhile, back in Washington, the armed guards opened the doors to the bunker and Jimmy, Slotter, and Senator Marsh returned to the world of fresh air and Romanesque architecture.

Marsh: Please, Mr. Kovacs, Miss Slotter, why don’t you come with me to my headquarters, they’re serving something special tonight, in honor of the election, we could turn it into a celebration, for your team’s great ability to once again save earth from utter destruction. You should join us, and call up the rest of your team as well!

Jimmy: Senator, I’d be honored-

Slotter: Jimmy, Keane’s been planning this meal for months. You can't expect her to be fine with you missing a meal that she gave her wisdom teeth for.

Jimmy: My sincerest apologies Senator, but we really must decline.

Marsh: Oh, how unfortunate. But you mustn’t disappoint Miss Keane.

Jimmy: Say, would you like to join us for dinner instead?

Slotter: We could make a party out of it! You know, hang out as friends while they count the votes. Send the message to the American people that there won’t be any hard feelings. That we can respect each other, and even have a good time, even though we’re opponents.

Jimmy: Great idea, Slotter.

Slotter: (grinning) I know. That’s why you made me your campaign manager. Remember?

Marsh: He’s right, Miss Slotter, it is a smashing idea. However, I must attend this dinner tonight. But why don’t you all, your Flash friends too, nip on up to my headquarters after your meal, and I’ll serve you your promised desserts then?

Jimmy: (mildly surprised and honored) Senator Marsh-

Marsh: Oh come now, Jimmy. Presidential candidate or not, you’re still a kid. I know you’re not going to say no to a free sundae. And how would your lovely lady take it if you turned down chocolate on her behalf?

Jimmy: You’ve got a point. Even as a man, Slotter was still obsessed with chocolate.

Slotter: Look, I have a sweet tooth.

Narrator: Smiling, Marsh bade the two adieu, and boarded his Boston bound vessel. Two hours later, Jimmy and Slotter were waiting for the dinner bell, when the update on the polls was interrupted for a breaking story…

Marsh: People of America! It is with the greatest humility, and an infinite wealth of gratitude, that I accept my position as the new President of the United States of America.

Jimmy & Slotter: WHAT?!!?!?!

Narrator: WHAT THE-! Oh. Sorry. Um. Tune in for next week’s Epic Echoes episode: "Something Fishy in... Boston?", and get clued in to what. Just. Happened.

Go to Episode 7