Slotter, F-Slotter: Lyn
Max, F-Max: Nick
Molly, F-Molly: Devon
Jimmy, F-Jimmy: Dan
Dannish: One time snotty male role
(The F-Name denotes a future version of the person, 26 years older than
their normal selves… so they sound… older.)
Narrator: Max Thornfield and his intrepid Flashpack stood transfixed with
complete shock, Kovacs Jam session regarding their secret enemy interrupted,
mouths agape before the intruders who stood before them in the Flashpoint
Rec. Center… intruders who claimed, against all odds, to be the Flashpack
themselves! Indeed, four of the six visitors did bear a striking resemblance
to Max, Molly, Slotter, and Jimmy, but older, and wearing a lot more leather.
The other two, one a stringy, bespectacled Siriusian teen, the second covered
from head-to-toe in a colorful carnival costume, were completely unfamiliar
Max: That’s not true! That’s impossible!
All past FP: (Things like “Yeah, it’s impossible!” “You
can’t be us!” Etc.)
F-Max: Everyone, please! It’s true, all right- we’re you, 26
years older, to the minute. Come on, Max. We’re in the Flashpack- anything’s
possible. Let me introduce the team. Obviously, you know me, Molly-
F-Molly: Hi, Max.
F-Max: Slotter, and Jimmy.
F-Jimmy: Hey, Dad. Max! I meant Max. Not Dad. Because you’re not. My
dad, I mean. No.
Dannish: Nice one, Kovacs. They just might be willing to think that was slip
of the tongue. Amatuer.
F-Max: This… is Dannish. As you can tell, he’s Siriusian, but
he has a rare genetic disorder which makes him much weaker and more vulnerable
than most of his race.
Dannish: Of course, that still makes me better than any human could be.
F-Max: Lastly, we have Blinklesprot. She’s… well, I can’t
go into who she is right now. But she doesn’t talk.
Narr: The brightly masked and costumed… girl(?) pantomimed at them
Max: Hi there. Well, it’s nice to meet you all. I’m Max Thornfield,
and this is-
F-Molly: Max, we… we know who you all are. We were there. Here.
Slotter: But Alyssa always told me if a Time Turner ever meets herself in
the past, the universe locks up and the Time Steppers have to do a hard reboot
and start up again in safe mode, deleting all dangerous and unauthenticated
F-Slotter: She gave us a pass this time. We’re running an errand for
her. Look here.
Narr: Future-Slotter held up a tiny pencil-eraser sized cube and squeezed
the sides. A holographical projector beam shot out of the front, revealing
a perfect image of their Time Stepping chronal mentor.
Alyssa: Hello, Jill. Hello, Flashpack. Yes, the people you see before you
are your future selves. I know what I told you about never crossing your own
path, and generally speaking, it will result in the utter destruction of everything
and everyone you hold dear… but this once, I’ll let it slide.
This future pack is on a highly important top-secret mission through time
that they can only accomplish with your help. Please give them your cooperation
in any way they ask, as a personal favor to me. In return, when the time comes,
I will allow you to go back in time and meet yourselves. Otherwise, our previous
deal still stands. Good luck, Flashpacks! Be seeing you.
F-Slotter: See that? We’re the real deal.
Drallus: But… why aren’t Keane and I part of the group anymore?
F-Jimmy: Drallus… you know we can’t tell you that. We can’t
change what you’re going to do in the future. Maybe we left you two
at home. You never know. Heck- maybe one of us is a robot replacement. Or
one of you could have morphed into Dannish-
F-Jimmy: Or could be disguised as Blinklesprot. Ok, Blinklesprot, sorry,
it was just an example, relax.
Keane: But that seems dubious. Isn’t it far more likely that we’re
F-Max: Not to interupt, but… we really do have to get to that mission.
Max: Fair enough. So… what is it?
F-Jimmy: Um… we can’t tell you.
Molly: Ok… so, what do we need to do?
F-Slotter: We… can’t tell you. Sorry.
Jimmy: Jeeze, how are we supposed to help you if we can’t know anything
about what’s going on?
F-Max: It’ll be all right, Jimmy.
Slotter: Hey, that’s our Jimmy!
F-Molly: Guys! Let’s not fight about this, let’s just do what
Alyssa asked us to!
Molly: Molly’s right, gang! So, uh… Max?
Molly: No, I mean, um… other Max.
F-Max: Thanks, Molly. We need to split up into pairs. Mollys, Slotters, and
Jimmys together. Max, you’re with me. Dannish, you go with Dr. Keane.
Blinklesprot, you take Drallus. Past-pack, just follow our lead. Once we split
up, we can discuss what we each need to do… so long as you all swear
never to share the information we tell you. That way, we won't reveal enough
of the future to mess things up. We’ll meet back here in two hours.
Furtrace: What about us?
F-Max: Huh? Who-
Furtrace: Me and Dr. Stellof.
Stellof: Yes, we’d like to help.
F-Max: I’m… I’m sorry, you- What, Blinklesprot? Oh yes,
right… Fur-Trace. Um. You two can… stay here and figure out how
we can stop Corporal Contradiction and his Resuscitator of Death.
F-Max: You’ll see, he’ll be calling later. Everyone ready?
Max: The Flashpack is always ready- right gang?
Both Max: Flashp-
Max: Oh, I’m sorry, you can-
F-Max: No, no, it’s your year. Please.
Max: Thanks. Let’s go, gang! Flashpack!
Furtrace: … Um, ok, then! We’ll just wait here and… do
that thing! Bye everyone! Bye, Drallus!
Drallus: Stuff it, cat!
Furtrace: Cat man! Bye! I’ll miss you… Hm. (pause) So, you know
anything about this contradiction guy?
Stellof: Oh yes. He’s an evil idiot savant, former head of military
intelligence. He’s obsessed with contradictions and the clarity they
bring. Always challenges max with some contradictory invention or other.
Furtrace: Gotcha. Then you think if Max refuses to stop him, he’ll
be unable to succed?
Stellof: That… sounds like his MO. Good thinking.
Furtrace: Thanks. (pause) So, they just let you hang out here as much as
Stellof: Absolutely. You… you want to see where Keane keeps her underwear?
Furtrace: Is it near Drallus’s room?
Stellof: You bet it is!
Furtrace: I’m in! I’ve got marking to do!
Narr: As the two trouble makers snuck off to their nefarious deeds, the Past
and Future ‘packmates scattered to complete their top-secret mission.
The pair of time turning Jill Slotters, for example, found themselves traveling
back in time to London, England, July 16th 1865, to view the decapitation
of Charles Darwin.
Slotter: So, what are we doing here? I mean, yeah, I’ve always wanted
to see it, but…
F-Slotter: That’s exactly why we’re here: now you get to see
it twice. Once as you, once as me. Pretty clever, huh?
Slotter: But, what about our mission? Don’t we have something-
F-Slotter: Actually, no. The others are all working on the real mission,
we get to kick back and watch one of the most infamous executions of all time.
Plus, we did all the work of time turning them all together. We deserve a
Slotter: Makes sense. Should we get popcorn?
F-Slotter: I’m on a diet, working on those last five pounds. Don’t
ever get pregnant! Er, um… I didn’t really- I mean, do get pregnant.
I love our kids. Oh, speaking of which, here, take the holocube. You’ll
need it to show to past you. Alyssa asked me to just pass it off to you, she
didn’t want to have to keep recording it every 26 years.
Slotter: Speaking of Alyssa- what did she mean, “our previous deal
still stands”? What deal? We don’t have any deal.
F-Slotter: Er, yeah, sorry about that. You’ll understand when you’re
Narr: The dual Molly Singhs, on the other hand, went together to her laboratory,
where they were soon elbow deep in trans-electric fluctuational vibro-tonic
salinite crystal viscosity processing regulators.
Molly: Let me get this straight… you came from the future just to help
me design the hyperjets I’d had an idea for?
F-Molly: Well, no, I mean… that’s not the reason the whole group
came back, no. There’s an important top-secret mission, like Max said.
The thing is, the others are taking care of that, so I thought you and I could
have some fun, like making hyperdrives with Julie.
Molly: Julie? Oh, Gods… Julie…
F-Molly: Oh, Gods, She just… I’m so sorry, Molly, I didn’t
Molly: No, it’s all right. Let’s just… let’s just
make these hyperjets. The pack might not have a lot of call for them, but
you never know when someone might need to get somewhere in a pinch.
F-Molly: That’s the spirit. Now, do you have any meson emitters?
Narr: Meanwhile, Jimmy Kovacs the elder was dragging Kovacs the younger around
Washington DC, popping in and out of the offices of important and influencial
senators, speaking on behalf of a bill proposing the installation of secret
emergency escape tubes under prominent Washington landmarks.
Jimmy: This is so exciting! I love greasing the wheels of legislation, and
these tubes are exactly what our government needs! I’ve been following
the track of this bill since it was drafted. So, the tubes are important to
F-Jimmy: Nnnnnot exactly.
Jimmy: What do you mean?
F-Jimmy: I brought you to DC for your benefit. I knew you were interested
in the tubes, you just needed a little push to actually get involved. It’s
the first step of many.
Jimmy: What are you saying? What about the mission?
F-Jimmy: The others are working on the mission, they didn’t need our
help. The tube bill did. Without us, there wouldn’t… well. Let’s
just say, the tubes will be important… as will you. You have a grand
destiny ahead of you, Jimmy.
Jimmy: I… I do?
F-Jimmy: Let me ask you- have you ever considered a career in politics?
Jimmy: Have I!
Narr: And as Jimmy’s aspirations began to blossom, team powerhouse,
Drallus Thornfield, was off with the mysterious and mute Blinklesprot in the
smoky poolhalls of downtown El Paso, TX.
Drallus: So, when we got back, Jill and I both had these Valentine notes
waiting for us, and I was like… what’s all this, you know? (pause)
Well, she had no idea who hers was from, but I have a sneaking suspicion about
mine. He plays his cards close to vest, and some people have… suggested
things about him… but I’m sure I’ve caught him looking,
you know? (pause) That’s true, I know I shouldn’t get my hopes
up, but… wait, you’re from the future. Are you say it’s
not-? (pause) No, I know you can’t reveal anything about the future,
I just hoped- (pause) I understand. >Sigh< I don’t know what it
is about El Paso, I just always had a fondness for it. I like to come here
to really cut loose, you know? Be the real me, not have to be all… well,
don’t tell the others I said so, but not have to be so “goody-goody” all
the time! I can kick back a few drinks, scam a few marks out of a few bucks,
and if I’m lucky, break a few heads. But, what are we doing here? Isn’t
there some sort of mission going on? (pause) Oh, so the others are taking
care of it without us? (pause) Ok. Well… if you don’t mind having
your mute ass handed back to you, we could shoot a game or two. (pause) You’re
Narr: The two other Thornfields, the Maxs, had hopped the wormhole subway
at the Flashpoint stop, much to the delight of tourists and sight-seers, and
made the quick ride to Cairo, Egypt.
Max: … which is why they think it’s Von Wicked behind all this.
I still have my doubts. What do you think?
F-Max: You know I can’t tell you that, Max. I know exactly who tried
to kill Julie. It wouldn’t be fair of me to reveal it to you.
Max: I know, I’m sorry. I keep forgetting. Well, we’re here-
the sacred silent forests of Cairo, where sound only travels three feet before
F-Max: What? I’m sorry, you’ve got to make sure you stay closer
to me while we talk. Sound only travels three feet here before dissipating,
Max: I know. So, what’s our mission?
F-Max: Yeah… about that. The others are taking care of it. I just brought
you here to talk to you about something… in private. Something I didn’t
want anyone else to hear.
Max: Oh… but… but what could be so important that you’d
need to take me to the-
F-Max: It’s about our father.
F-Max: Max… I know the quest to find him has always been on your mind,
always driven you to keep going, to jump into the unknown. It’s why
you founded the Flashpack. I just think… I think it’s time to
let it go a little.
Max: What? Are you saying we never-
F-Max: I’m just saying… that sometimes, the things we’re
looking for come to us when we search for them the least.
F-Max: It’s Zen. But the point is, if you just relax a little, let
the whole father thing slip away from you for a while… I promise you,
we’ll find out when it’s time… and in time you’ll
even come to peace with it. Trust me.
Max: Well, if I can’t trust you, who can I trust?
Narr: At that instant, Sara Keane and the caustic Dannish were in the Flashpoint
kitchen, the young woman spooning out bowls of Gleepglorp bisque, and the
Siriusian lounging about.
Keane: I don’t see how me cooking could be so essential to this mission
you’re all on.
Dannish: It’s not. I was just hungry. (sniff) Mmm, smells good.
Dannish: Although now that you’re done it’s almost time to meet
with the others. I’d better take care of my part in the mission.
Keane: Which is?
Dannish: Telling you off, you heartless scumbag. You actually claim to be
a friend of these people with the things you’re going to do to them?
You make me sick, you excrement. (slurp)
Dannish: You’re almost as bad as Drallus herself. I’m glad you’re
dead. (slurp) Mm, this is truly delicious.
Keane: What are you… why are you doing this? We can just change things,
change the future! Tell me what I can do!
Dannish: You can’t change your future. It’s already written.
Keane: Then what are you doing here? What’s the point?
Dannish: We’re trying to change the past. That’s the only thing
left. (slurp) And I’m doing it to you because we know that after hearing
all this, you’re going to head back to your room and jack into that
emotion disruptor so hard you won’t remember a second of it.
Keane: Why are you doing this to me?
Dannish: This isn’t for your benefit, maleficent wretch. I’m
doing it for anyone who happens to be listening… and I think she knows
who she is. (slurp)
Keane: What are you talking about?
Dannish: Oh, come now, you must be feeling something by now. How about this:
you are an amoral quiver-flakking floogle, and that’s coming from me,
a Siriusian. Your ‘friends’ would be better off if you were already
dead, you and your ‘Mistress’. If only there was a way… (laughs
like a dick)
Keane: Shut up! Shut up!
Narr: And with that, Keane ran out of the kitchen, tears in her eyes, to
do just as he’d foretold. Dannish grabbed the pot of bisque and headed
back to the Rec Room to meet up with the others. Soon, the future pack was
ready to head home.
Max: I hope we were able to help get the mission completed.
F-Max: of course we did, Max- otherwise we wouldn’t exist to be here.
We know she’ll make the right choice, she told us so her-
F-Max: Right! Sorry, ho-
Max: The dangerometer!
F-Max: That’ll be Corporal Contradiction. Don’t worry- the cat-thingy’s
plan will work just fine.
Max: You mean Furtrace?
F-Max: Yes! Furtrace! Right. So long, Past-Pack!
Narr: And as the Future-Pack joined hands and whisked away through time,
their present incarnations went off to ignore a world-destroying threat. Just
what was the Future-Pack’s mission all about? How did they intend to
alter the past? It’s certainly something to think about before next
week’s episode of Epic Echoes: “Sacrificial Alter”.