Buck & Jane
A Death in the Family
Decker & Hayes
Epic Echoes
The Great Muppet Debate
Guard Duty
Like Mother, Like Daughter
Stage Blood



Guard Duty, Series Three
Episode 4 - Make Believe

By Jordan D. White

Captain Fantasy
Binary Girl

Narr: The Earth Guard - the planet's most powerful heroes united in the common goal of protecting the innocent people of planet Earth and defending them from threats of all kinds. From the Guard Tower, their base of operations, they watch over the citizens and spring into action at any sign of danger. To that end, the Guard take shifts monitoring events all over the globe. Sooner or later, they all have to take a shift of… Guard Duty. This week: Captain Fantasy and Peaseblossom in "Make Believe."

(Captain Fantasy is alone in the Guard Tower)

CF: To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t know what to believe. I’d like to think the Stallion feels some sort of remorse, but he certainly isn’t having very guilty dreams. … I suppose you’re right, Ocean Man did know what he was doing. Still… No, no, I understand. … You’re right, he is a hero, it’s just… he certainly knows it, doesn’t he? … I just mean that humility certainly isn’t his strong suit. … Well, I’m not sure how many lives humility has saved, but I’d guess a couple at least. (The door opens, and Peaseblossom enters) … I’m not going to argue with you, I said, he’s a good man-

PB: Greetings, Captain… Who is it you address?

CF: Peaseblossom! You scared the be-jeezum out of me!

PB: Apologies my friend, ‘twas not my goal.

CF: It’s ok. I was just having a little chat with Foal

PB: Is she alive? I hadn’t noticed… odd. I’d think I would recall something like that… Is she still on the comm? Greetings, fair Foal!

CF: Er, no… she’s not on the comm, she’s… she’s right over there.


PB: … I see no one… Art thou quite sure, Captain?

CF: Of course I’m sure, she’s right- what? … Oh, yes… She says no one else can see or hear her. But she is right over there.

PB: I see… a phantom Foal for only you? Perchance she is merely the stuff of dreams, comprised of that which only you canst view? I doubt this Foal is as real as she seems.

CF: Foal a dream? But who would be dreaming her? There’s no one else around but you and me, and she doesn’t seem to be one of yours. She’s not colorful enough. Or nude.

PB: Could not she be a dream of yours?

CF: Oh, I don’t dream.

PB: You what?

CF: I don’t dream. At least, I don’t think I do. How can you tell you’re dreaming? Is that the part where everything makes sense, or…?

PB: If you ask me, this ugly world of man makes no more sense than flights of fancies do! At least in dreams both love and beauty can and do take precedence ov’r so-called "truth". How one can live here, I will never know- unless they be one banish-ed as I.

CF: Beats me, I don’t live here; I’m just visiting. The people here have no magic in their lives! Everything has to be understood, or it can’t exist!

PB: I’m fortunate that all their disbelief hath not yet stripped me of my fairy self! Speaking of which, I do apologize for being late for Guard Duty just now…

CF: Guard Duty? Is that why I’m here? Foal, why didn’t you tell me?


PB: Yes… well… again, I offer my regrets. A flock of fans were hounding me, you see, and being such a gen’rous soul-

CF: What was the fight about?

PB: Fight?

CF: With Binary Girl. Isn’t that what you just said?

PB: … Nay…

CF: Oh, heh… sorry. World of dreams is bleeding into reality again. Gosh, maybe Foal isn’t real…

PB: Binary Girl and I? Having a fight? How fanciful your dreams can be, Captain! But what would she and I argue about? I haven’t seen Barbara since last mission. Why would I? What is she to me but-

CF: Three times? Just this morning? So how did that lead to a… (awkward pause) Did you… did you not just say that you-

PB: Captain! Methinks you need to learn restraint!

CF: I’m sorry! It’s just… it’s difficult to focus with you around.

PB: Hmph… For that, at least, I can forgive you yet. Many a man has said the same to me. My face and figure far surpass their like among the women of the mortal realm.

CF: What? No, that’s not what I meant, I was… Oh, I see what you mean, you aren’t really wearing much, are you? But no, I just meant that you seem to… carry a bit of the world of dreams around you. It almost leaks out of you. So to speak.

PB: Regardless, it does not give you the right to lift the veil and look within my brain! My private life’s my own, not yours to-

CF: I’m sorry, I’m sorry! But I already knew about you and Binary Girl, if that’s what you’re upset about.

PB: What?

CF: Yeah, she told me.

PB: She-

CF: Well, sort of.

PB: She-

CF: I mean, she was thinking about it really loud. It was shaping all the dreams around her- I couldn’t help myself!

PB: If ev’ry member of the guard possessed as much control o’er their powers as you, t’would be a race to see if we would first be melted by yon Mister Fahrenheit or Doctor Fast would smash into us all.

CF: Maybe you people should learn to keep your dreams to yourselves, did you ever think of that? I’m just a guy, hanging out, and then you all come in thrusting your dreams all up in my face. You don’t see me writing my secrets on big signs and then carrying them around with me, do you?

PB: Not in years.

CF: Right, because it was a stupid idea, and I learn from my mistakes. Maybe you all should take a page from my book, there. I mean, if you weren’t broadcasting this fight you two… er, three had this morning, then I’m sure these pixies you always dream about wouldn’t have these hideous fangs… which are quite disturbing. And I have no idea why a pine tree is threatening to eat you, but I’m sure it’s related.

PB: I cannot help what goes on in my mind!

CF: Well, maybe instead of letting it stew in there and corrupting everything around you, you should try talking about it. I’m sure you’ll feel better having talked about it.

PB: I really don’t-

CF: Nonsense. I don’t mind at all. Besides, if you don’t just say it, I’m just going to see it in the images around you- like this one of Binary Girl crying, and this one of her storming out of the room, and this one with you and two of her-… goodness! That certainly is…

PB: Captain!

CF: You’re the ones who were doing it! I was just… looking…

PB: All right, all right! Perhaps you are correct. Perhaps discussing what occurred with her will help me get the matter off my chest.

CF: I think it will. Relax and just… unburden yourself.

PB: All right… I hardly know where to begin. Barbara and I… I care for her… I do! But in the end, what can become of us? As much as I enjoy her company and basking in the warmth of her embrace… how can I ever feel the way towards her that she already clearly feels for me?

CF: She’s in love with you?

PB: Aye, t’would appear that way to me. And she desires that I admit to her that she resides within my heart of hearts. But how can one who has already lived for many times her human life time and will likely live for many many more allow herself to love a mortal girl? Even were she to somehow live a life as old as oldest mortals ever grow, t’would only be a moment in my eyes. How could I willingly attach myself to something so fleeting as love with her?

CF: That a pretty defeatist attitude. I mean, why bother to breathe in when you’re only going to have to breathe back out again?

PB: And even if we leave life span aside, so many other problems still exist. Let’s say I give myself to her in full, and then my Queen calls me back from exile! How could a woman e’er compare to that? To finally returning home at last? I’d have to leave her here alone, and that… That wouldn’t be a thing I’d like to do.

CF: Methinks the lady doth protest too much.


PB: Dost thou mock me?

CF: No, no- it was a… no. I just mean that it sounds like you might be trying to convince yourself of the reasons not to love her.

PB: Indeed? But why would I need to do that?

CF: Because you want to love her.

PB: (laughs) I see. Perhaps you think I am naïve? That I somehow do not know my own mind?

CF: It happens to the best of us.

PB: But you forget- I am not one of you, and if I were in love, then I would know. I can assure you of that fact, at least.

CF: Fine, if you say so. So what are you going to do?

PB: I doubt anything need be done just now. Barbara and I both know where ‘tis we stand. This fight aside, she understands that I have merely been with her to pass the time. To pass it pleasantly, mayhap, but still.

CF: She does?

PB: Of course.

CF: So why is there a horde of hideous bat creatures circling around your head

PB: (angry) ‘Tis but a dream, and nothing more.

CF: Well… Foal and I disagree.

PB: And yet – (incoming message)

BG: (both, teary) Pease? Pease, are you there?

PB: … Yes, Barbara…

BG: (both) I need to know, Pease. I need to know where this is going.

PB: Where…?

BG: (both) If this is really nothing to you…

CF: I don’t think it is.

PB: Silence!

BG: (both) I’m sorry, I’m being stupid. Goodbye. (she cut off)


CF: Oh, I agree completely.

PB: What?

CF: Foal was just saying that Binary Girl might not understand things as well as you thought.

PB: Oh really? Well, then why don’t you and Foal stay here on Guard duty while I head out and deal with things, all right? Thank you, Captain. (she leaves)

CF: But, wait, I- … (to Foal) You know, I’m not sure you count for Guard Duty, Foal. … That you are. That you are.

Go to Episode 5