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Keep Yer Nose Outta the Wax

by Jordan D. White

Wax-work Theme K (Keep Yer Nose Outta the Wax) - 02-17-03

Ah, a jazzy little detective song. What can I say about this... well, for starters, I was planning on doing an entirely different piece, which fell through because I no longer had access to a vital instrument. So the time came to record the piece and I had absolutely no idea what to do. I hit upon this idea fairly quickly. I played all the instruments by hand on my keyboard. The entire song is actually based on the bass part, which I recorded first completely off the cuff. Then I added drums and then the mute trumpet and bari sax. The 'lyrics' were the last thing done, though it's more of a narration than lyrics. Enjoy!

*Remastered 07-14-08

I came across on a routine missing persons case. Jordan D. White had gone missing and his wife had ponied up enough deniro to fill up more than a few bottles worth of regret. My sources downtown had heard whispers about the place so I figured I should check it out myself. I only needed to take one look at the sick thinkgs the bastard had filled the things with to realize Jordan D. White was not a well man.

It was clear this was a person who had made a lot of enemies. Sure, his wife played the concerned roll well, but a broad like that always had one or two other fish on the line. I made certain to give her my number to call if she needed anything, anything at all. A quick look around the place didn't reveal anythign out of the ordinary, but then, as I was leaving, I noticed little red drips going down their back porch ot their cellar door.

There it was. That's where I found it. His dead body. Case closed. I'd found him. But now, I'd a murder to solve.

I decided to look into his business associated. McNish and Narburgh were partners in some kind of scam operation out of Queens. Narburgh would bring home the serious money while McNish was in charge of laundering. but they both had motive- White was always riding Narburgh about putting in a contribution to the business, while McNish wanted to take over the whole operation for himself. They were each other's alibis.

Some of the things they told me just didn't ring true and I considered them my main suspects until, getting off the subway, I was accosted and hit over the head.

I awoke in a stretch limo belonging to Mr. Corin, a fatcat rich off some Hollywood money. He spent his days in charge of a gang of young toughs in Brooklyn, but at night he made his real living selling fresh dreams to the poor and hopeless masses. He stuck a dirty .22 in my face and told me to keep my nose out of this wax business or he'd blow it for me. I told him my nose wasn't running and he said it would if it knew what was good for it. He gave me a handkerchief and promptly ejected me from the limo onto the side of the road. I picked myself up and dusted myself off. I hate catching other people's colds.

Lastly, I found TC makowski, a smalltime punk White had grown up with. He'd gotten by hawking old junk as new for a while, but eventually moved himself up in the world. He was currently riding high on a rash of lucky breaks. Rumor had it White had found out a few of TC's dirty little secrets, and was cashing in under the table. TC denied it, but he suddenly remembered another engagement around that time and I found myself back out on the street.

I had them all meet me back at the wax-work - the two partners, the rich Jew, the lucky one, and White's broad. They all said they didn't know what I was playing at. I told them I knew who was behind White's death. I pointed to Corin. He denied it of course, but they all knew White had claimed credit for Corins recent windfall. Corin leapt at me... So I shot him. When the police showed up we all told them what happened, and they took away the body.

TC's luck finally changed when he got busted for tax fraud and wound up in the pen. Narburgh and McNish continued their partnership until the families caught wind of the operation and put a stop to it. As for Mrs. White, she was so appreciative for me pinning her crime on Corin that we started a partnership of our own. It went pretty well until the incident in the kitchen with the knife.

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