Characters:
Narrator
Stella Decker
Julian McGuiness
Macy Hayes
Lexi
Tommy Potsdam
Lansberg
Drake
Jesus
Luisa

Narr: It's likely that there is no more loving couple in Parlortown than Stella Decker and Macy Hayes of the Decker and Hayes Detective Agency. Unfortunately, both of them had had another woman gracing their lips more recently than had their partner. It's also possible that there is no more honorable detectives in Parlortown than Decker and Hayes, but since one of them just left a brothel in the company of a man who'd shot her old friend, while the other had just tried to kill their receptionist, that fact might be a little muddled right now as well. The plans that each of the duo had in their minds, meanwhile, would reveal an even darker fate, if they were to come true. Macy Hayes had been tortured, broken, and brainwashed by the two people who'd arranged for her to leave prison, one of whom she was currently engaged in relations with. She'd left Tommy Potsdam, their secretary for dead... which was fortunate for Tommy, since he was anything but. Stella Decker, on the other hand, had just seen her former lover, Tasha, in the hospital. Tasha had been kidnapped, then enslaved and raped for years. Stella wasn't too thrilled to hear about it.

McGuiness: What's on your mind, Stell?

Stella: I'm having sort of a hectic day. Some chump named Washburn hired me to find his son, only now he calls himself Drake and he's talking to me about Macy. What's the word with her? What did she call you to the prison for, anyway?

McGuiness: Eh, she wanted my opinion on a possible appeal, but it was a no-go.

Stella: Did she say anything about... I don't know, the CIA? Anything about an old case of hers?

McGuiness: Nope, not that I recall.

Stella: All right. Maybe I'll head up there and talk to her myself.

McGuiness: I'm not sure you can... I, uh, heard there was a lockdown. No visitors allowed.

Stella: Crap.

McGuiness: So what did you need my help with?

Stella: It's this chump Drake. He's right over... He's... God damn it, I left him here in this waiting room. Crap. I was going to ask you to keep an eye on him while I took care of some things.

McGuiness: Looks like he flew the coop.

Stella: Thanks, Jules. It's like you're a detective or something.

McGuiness: Sorry, sourpuss. I can keep my ears open for any Drake or Washburn for you, but unless there's anything pressing you need me for, I've got my own case to be looking into...

Stella: Another Councilman in danger? I'm sure you're got his back.

McGuiness: Very funny, toots. I'll catch you later.

Stella: Yeah, thanks Jules.

Narr: Stella hopped into her green pick-up and drove off, and McGuiness waited until he was confident she was gone before pulling his Taurus out of the hospital parking lot. He kept his eyes on his rearview, making sure no one was following him, especially Stella, as he cruised a few blocks past the Blue Diner and parked outside the building of Paige Rose. A few quarters clacked into the meter and he headed up to Paige's floor on the elevator. The door was open, as always, and he let himself in.

McGuiness: You really should install a lock.

Paige: What, and let people know I've got something worth stealing?

McGuiness: Funny.

Paige: Tommy was here.

McGuiness: You finally make your move?

Paige: Not like that, unfortunately. He heard your message. He knows about the bug.

McGuiness: Damn it! Well, he must not have told Stella yet- she doesn't even know Macy's out yet. How is the feed coming in? You've got tapes for me?

Paige: What is this, the 80's? I've got cds. Yeah, I've got everything Macy, Lansberg, and Grayson have said since you swapped Grayson's pen for the bugged one at the prison.

McGuiness: She's had it with her the entire time?

Paige: Not all the time, no- but a lot. It was in her purse, so whenever she has that nearby. I... I don't think they are doing good things to Macy. I mean I didn't listen to all the disks, but they said something about bleeding, and breaking, and the last time I heard her, she sounded... funny.

McGuiness: You're sure you recorded everything it heard?

Paige: Oh yeah, totally. I've got this receiver programmed so whenever the bug is picking up voices, it automatically records. When it's recording, this little red light comes on.

McGuiness: That one? You mean it's recording now?

Paige: Yep, sure it.

McGuiness: Can you... turn it up? Can we hear it?

Paige: Yeah sure.

(we hear Macy and Lexi over the bug.)

Lexi: The only one who has to be jealous around here is Stella.

Macy: Stella who?

(we hear sounds of making out and light moaning)

Paige: Uh... is that... are they...?

McGuiness: It... sounds that way. But Macy is... she loves Stella.

Macy: (Mumbles)... safe... not for long...

Lexi: We've got plenty of time... I've missed this.

Macy: But.... he'll cry... if you call... the cops... one million...

Lexi: What? What cops? What are you...

Macy: The punishment must fit the crime.

Lexi: What are you talking about?

Macy: The Punishment must fit the crime!

Lexi: Ow! Macy, you're hurting me! Macy! Stop!

Macy: The punishment must- (zapping sound) Aiiie!

Paige: What was that?

McGuiness: Sounded like... a taser? Where are they?

Paige: No exact location... somewhere in the South Tip, according to the signal strength.

Lexi: (on the phone) Lansberg? I know it's early, it's Macy, she's not stable. ... Talking nonsense, almost tore my arm open. ... I know, I know she's not the actual target, but- ... Who called you? ... So, what are you going to- ... Understood. I'll meet you there. What about Macy? Just leave her here, bound and gagged? ... No problem. (phone clicks away, talking stops)

McGuiness: You're absolutely certain that these two are really in the CIA?

Paige: One hundred percent. Those files I got for you are definitely real. I've got them confirmed on three separate government databases.

McGuiness: That's going to make this tricky... Agents or no, I've got to get Macy away from them. We need to pinpoint their location. What can you give me?

Paige: I... I don't think there's anything I can do. Wherever they are in the South Tip, it's no hotel; they're somewhere where they need privacy. It's got to be a building owned by a company front- but I doubt even I could uncover that.

McGuiness: I need you to try. I've got to get to the girl. I owe her that much for letting her go with those two when I knew they weren't trustworthy. If anything happens to Macy-

Paige: It won't be your fault.

McGuiness: Right- because I'm not going to let it happen. Now get hacking.

Paige: This is going to cost you extra.

McGuiness: Just do it!

Narr: Across town, at the Decker & Hayes offices, Tommy Potsdam was wearing a rut into the carpet. Whenever his line of sight would cross the three bullet holes in the bathroom door, reminding him of Macy's attempt at killing him, he asked himself yet again why he would have asked someone to call him at the offices. He wanted to get as far away from the office as humanly possible- what if Macy came back? But no, he'd set himself up to wait for a phone call at the exact place there, rather than at his own apartment. Finally, the phone on his desk rang.

Tommy: Hello? Decker and Hayes.

Lansberg: Mr. Potsdam, this is Agent Lansberg. You called?

Tommy: Oh, thank God! I've been going crazy waiting for your call!

Lansberg: All right, calm down, son, what seems to be the problem?

Tommy: Now, I know you told me I couldn't tell Miss Decker about you making a deal with Miss Hayes-

Lansberg: That's right, we came to you for some preliminary information on Miss Hayes, and we'd figured that given your training and you placement with-

Tommy: Of course, and I haven't said a word to Miss Decker, but Miss Hayes was just in the office, and (quietly but panicked) she tried to kill me!

Lansberg: I take it she failed?

Tommy: This is no joking matter! What is she doing out of jail in a cat suit waving a gun around? Is this how the CIA is doing it's doing business, making detectives try to kill their secretaries? What is going on?

Lansberg: I'm sorry, Mr. Potsdam, but I'm not at liberty to reveal information about an ongoing investigation at this time.

Tommy: Well, then I might not be at liberty to keep information from my employers. I might just have to tell them about your... machinations. All of them.

Lansberg: Now you listen here, you limey punk! If you let so much as a drop of spittle leave your mouth concerning this topic, I will have absolutely no problem blowing your face through the back of your skull- and yes, for your information, that is how the CIA does business.

Tommy: You think you can threaten me?

Drake: I think I can.

Narr: Tommy spun on his heels to find to man he knew as Deric Washburn standing in the front doorway to the office, pointing a gun at his head.

Drake: Drop the phone.

Tommy: Mr. Washburn? What- what do you want?

Drake: I said drop the phone!

Tommy: Yes, yes of course!

Drakes: Where's Agent Hayes?

Tommy: Miss Hayes? I have no idea where she-

Drake: All right, shut up! Sit down in that chair!

Narr: As Tommy seated himself, Agent Drake picked up the phone off the floor, keeping his barrel aimed at Tommy's face the entire time.

Drake: Who is this?

Lansberg: Agent Drake, so good to hear from you. Find what you're looking for?

Narr: Across town, deep in the South Tip, a number of blocks father south than Mama Wang's, a black El Camino with flames painted on the sides was cruising down the block. Within, Jesus Martinez and his woman, Luisa Garcia, were having an argument.

Jesus: I swear, I never touched her, ok?

Luisa: Oh, really? Oh, really? Then why did Rico call her "our little friend", huh? Why would Rico say that, huh?

Jesus: No, man, he was just using an expression, you know?

Luisa: Oh yes, that sounds perfectly reasonable! Why don't I just take you word for it? You never touched the girl, of course! While the others were with her, you were keeping the Easter bunny and Santa Claus company!

Narr: The El Camino slowed and stopped at a red light.

Jesus: All right, you know what? Fine! Yeah, I did the girl, ok? What of it? You've got nothing to say about it! You're just a woman, ok, Man? You don't like it, I can find myself another girl.

Luisa: You can find yourself- I've got news for you, man-

Narr: Suddenly a green pickup truck came out of nowhere and smashed into them.

Luisa: Madre de dios!

Jesus: Who the hell is that?

Narr: Stella leapt out of the cab of her truck and ran to the wreckage of the smaller car, which was already beginning to smoke. Jesus wiped the blood out of his eyes just in time to see her shove her handgun in his face.

Stella: Tasha sends her regards.

Narr: Jesus got a bullet in the head and a second shot stopped Luisa's scream in her throat. Stella got back into her truck and pulled away. Has Stella lost it? Has Macy? Will Paige and Julian find her in time? Will Tommy be killed by Agent Drake, or Agent Lansberg? And just what are all these Agents doing in Parlortown? Come back next time for... "Going South."