CHARACTERS:

Four housemates -
Jared
Demnity
Jackson
Ensor

Spiff - Demnity's girlfriend

A leader -
Casper

His Followers -
Stuart
Elia
Fourther
Pauling
Hunte

A Cop - protects and serves

the setting:
The action all takes place in Jared's room, the room of a typical young man. There is a bed, a stereo, posters, a desk, a dresser: whatever you think a regular Joe would have. A space, however, exists in front of the stage: a place from which Casper and his followers observe the stage without, themselves, being seen from the stage.

SCENE !

(Jared's bedroom is visible. He is asleep in his bed. In front of that is a group. It is made up of about maybe ten people, including Casper, who carries a baseball bat.)

Casper:
Ladies and gentlemen, here we go! May I draw your attention to Jared over here? Now, you know what to do right? (Pause) Yes, of course we do! Alright, now, let's all act casual, ok? Don't let him know what's coming. And let's not have any of these good or evil things being tossed about, I just want direct observations, or you'll get a savage braining. Okay? Understand? (pause) Yes, of course we do! Ok, good. Now, everyone act casual, don't make it look like we're watching him, pretend that you have a good reason to stand here. You're waiting for the bus. (The entire group pretends they're waiting for the bus) Not all of you, you idiots! Just, just spread out, everyone; let's wait for him to wake up.

(The group spreads out randomly around the stage watching the bedroom. Some of them are behind things, semi-hiding. A long pause. Jared awakes. He begins to go about his daily morning routine. They watch for a minute.)

Casper:
(whispering loudly) Observations? (pause) Jackson?

Jackson:
(they are all whispering) When he turns his back to us he reveals that his underwear has a little hole in the back.

Casper:
Good. It's revolting. Pauling?

Pauling:
The way he is brushing his teeth is unbelievable. He most likely isn't getting any of his teeth clean. I wouldn't be surprised if he has cavities.

Casper:
(cackling) I agree, I agree. WHHEEEEEEEEEE! (Imitating dentist drill) Stuart?

Stuart:
I don't like the song he's humming.

(Pause. Casper smacks Stuart over the head with the bat.)

Casper:
Who else? (Pause) Elia?

Elia:
The clothes he's putting on don't go well together. The overshirt doesn't match the T-shirt at all and it's wrinkled. His socks don't even match.

Casper:
I thought the same thing myself. And the T-shirt itself is not tucked in and you can see his underwear's... stretchy... elastic band, thingy when he bends over. Ok, good, anyone else? (Pause) Alright then. Let's show him how these things are done, shall we ladies and gentlemen? (Pause) Yes, let's begin! Ok, good. Ready... and... begin!

(The entire group, and Casper, begin beating the living shit out of Jared. He tries, in vain, to escape. This continues for at least a minute and a half. At least. He is out cold, but they persist. Then: )

Casper:
Wait, everyone, wait. Now, everybody look at the way that Stuart is beating him. Do it again, do that again, Stuart. (he does) What's wrong with that? Jackson?

Jackson:
He's holding his arm too close to his chest and not following through.

Casper:
Yes. Exactly. When you're beating someone about the head, Stuart, you have to have a certain amount of, oh, grace and dignity. You can't just go wild hitting them randomly all over. (He is demonstrating on Jared) You have to know what you're doing all the time, but make it look like you're just going with the flow like this. Do you see the difference? This... and this, you see? This... and this. Ok? (pause) Yes, I see now, of course. Alright, then. That was great, guys. Who's next? Follow me, everyone.

(Casper leads them all out. Jared lays motionless. At least a minute. Then Jackson peeks in and enters through the bedroom door. He timidly goes to Jared.)

Jackson:
Are you ok? Jared? Well, it's all for the best, I assure you. All the things Casper said were true. I just want you to know, it's nothing personal, it's just that, well, he knows best, you know that. And if I ever want to get anywhere I have to do what he says, so... I just wanted to make sure you know that, you know, you can't make an omelet without, you know, hurting a few people. (He smiles and pats Jared) Ok, buddy?

(He gives Jared a few good kicks. Demnity enters through the bedroom door.)

Demnity:
Oh, fucking Christ! (Jackson stops and looks to Demnity) What the hell's going on here?

Jackson:
What?

Demnity:
He's on the fucking floor.

Jackson:
So?

Demnity:
So? So a couple of things! So: he's always taking up the goddamned floor space! So: I'm going to need the floor later on! So: he's an inconsiderate fuck! So: Ensor is probably going to bitch bitch bitch about the goddamned blood all over! What an asshole!

Jackson:
So: what do you expect me to do about it?

Demnity:
Help me move the bastard before Ensor gets here! Jesus Christ, what the fuck is your problem?

(Jackson kicks Jared a few more times)

Demnity:
Will you cut that shit out? Fuck, I can't hear myself think with all your fucking meat pounding, Jesus! Just cut the shit and help me out.

(Demnity is trying to pick Jared up, Jackson helps.)

Jackson:
What do you need all this floor space for anyway?

Demnity:
What the fuck do you think? Sex!

Jackson:
Oh. (pause) With who?

Demnity:
Eh, same old bitch, unfortunately.

Jackson:
Oh. (Pause) Can I watch?

Demnity:
What?

Jackson:
Oh, you've got to let me watch!

Demnity:
What the fuck is wrong with you? Let's pick him up.

Jackson:
Please?

Demnity:
NO. Now let's do this, God Damnit!

(They pick Jared up. Demnity on the arms, Jackson on feet.)

Demnity:
One... two... three!

(They swing and then toss Jared in the direction of OSL, but he lands only half off the stage with a painful thud.)

Jackson:
Oh, come on, just let me watch.

Demnity:
No. Fuck off.

Jackson:
She won't even know I'll be here, I'll just, I don't know, I'll hide in the closet.

Demnity:
Just what I want; some asshole watching me and wagging his fucking frontward tail in the closet.

Jackson:
Please? Just let me watch a little?

Demnity:
No! Forget it!

(Pause. Jackson goes and kicks Jared once, a little harder than before.)

Jackson:
I've never seen a woman before...

Demnity:
Oh, Jesus Christ! You want me just let you join me, I'll get her twat while you ram it in her mouth? I'm not letting you fucking watch! I have something special planned for tonight, so just fucking lay off!

Jackson:
Ok, fine, forget it, I can take a hint.

Demnity:
Good, because you could fucking use one. Spiff is going to be here soon, so you'd better be fucking gone by the time she is, ok? I'm serious, dickbrain! Alright?

Jackson:
Yeah...

(Demnity leaves. Jackson shuffles about for a minute, then he looks out the bedroom door for anyone, and creeps back to Jared's closet, hides within, with the door open just a crack. Pause for another minute or so. Ensor enters the bedroom. He makes a sound of disgust, exits.)

Ensor:
(Offstage) Alright, who did this? (Reenters) Well, where is everyone? Jared? Did you leave this blood here? (Long pause) Fine. Fine, I'm the only one who cares whether the place is tidy so I suppose I'll have to clean up after you all. (He grabs a towel and mops up the blood with it) I swear to God none of you has ever done a dish in your lives. Were you raised with maids? I guess some of us were forced to clean up after ourselves, that's just how I was brought up. You listening, Jared? Jared?

(Ensor is done cleaning, he goes to Jared, nudges him with his foot, gets no reaction, drops the towel on him, offstage. Begins to make Jared's bed.)

Ensor:
Can't even make his bed when he gets up, just starts bleeding all over the place. I know I shouldn't clean up after you Jared, but I can't stand your room looking this way. I swear the next time you do this, I'm just going to have to... I'm going to get really mad, so just don't test me! There, much better. Now, was it you who left the toilet like that this morning? (Pause) Hmph. I'd better go deal with that then. But don't expect me to do this forever.

(Ensor exits. Pause. Demnity enters with Spiff in tow. He is smirking. She is drunk. Demnity quietly closes and locks the door behind them. They are silent, sneaking about. Spiff begins to undress, taking off her shirt. Demnity frowns, and while she takes off her bra, he creeps over to the closet, and then SLAMS it shut very hard with his hand. Jackson cries out. The closet door opens and Jackson comes out with a big red mark on his face from the door hitting him.)

Demnity:
Get the fuck out of here! Fucking asshole!

(Jackson unlocks the door and leaves. Spiff laughs. Demnity locks the door and turns back to her.)

Demnity:
What are you laughing at?

Spiff:
Aw... the little guy is cute. Why don't you let him watch?

Demnity:
Fucking faggot's not going to see me naked.

Spiff:
Afraid he's got a bigger cock, big boy?

Demnity:
Yeah, right! Not a chance. Don't even joke about that shit.

Spiff:
I'm sure it's not... but I could always check.

Demnity:
I said shut the fuck up with that shit! Jesus, Cut it out! If I wanted to talk about my fucking housemates, I wouldn't have had you over! Fuck! Just take off your clothes.

(Spiff runs her hands over Demnity's chest.)

Demnity:
No! I said just take off your clothes. Now.

(She undresses the rest of the way, and sits on the newly made bed. Demnity takes off his shirt. He gets behind her and begins to massage her back and shoulders.)

Spiff:
Ow. (pause) Ow that hurts. (He slaps her.)

Demnity:
Shut up.

(He goes back to massaging her. This goes on for like thirty seconds.)

Demnity:
Get on your stomach.

(She does. He straddles her and rubs her back... then her shoulders... then her neck... then he starts to strangle her. She struggles, but he over powers her, and in a few moments, she's dead. Then he flips her over, takes off his pants, gets on top of her, and starts having sex with her. He moans loudly. Jared moans softly. Jared very slowly and groggily wakes up, then gets up. He sees Demnity and Spiff and freezes. Demnity keeps on humping till he finishes. Then he rolls over next to Spiff, and sees Jared.)

Demnity:
Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you doing, you pervert? You're fucking watching us fuck?

Jared:
I'm sorry, I just woke up, and I didn't mean to, interrupt, I-

Demnity:
Get the fuck out of here! You think because you live with me you can watch me fucking having sex? Fucking leave, shithead!

Jared:
Sorry, I'll go, I'll go. I just... is she alright?

Demnity:
Why don't you mind your own fucking business?

Jared:
It's just... what's wrong with her neck?

Demnity:
God damn it! Why don't you ever listen, you fuckrag?

(Demnity gets up and starts to approach Jared.)

Jared:
I'm really sorry, I'll just leave. I'll just-

Demnity:
Too late, asshole.

(Jared runs for the door and Demnity leaps after him. The door is locked and before he can unlock it, Demnity beats the crap out of Jared. This continues for a while, spilling more blood. Then Jared is unmoving. Demnity drags him into the closet. Then he drags Spiff into the closet, shuts it. Then he dresses, unlocks the door, leaves. Pause for a good fifteen to thirty seconds. Ensor reenters.)

Ensor:
Can't anyone clean up around here? (Exits)

SCENE @

(About a hour later. The blood is gone. Long pause to start the scene. Then a sound of movement in the closet. Then more movement sounds.)

Jared:
(In the closet) Hello? Is anyone out there? Whats this? Is this...? (Pause) AHHHHHHHH!

(A loud thump from the closet. Lots of sounds from the closet. Frantic. It goes on for a minute. The closet opens and Jared and Spiff fall out all entangled and such. She is still dead, of course. He is freaking out. He's having trouble breathing. He swoons. He steadies himself. He looks. He runs out the door. Spiff does not move. Pause for a long while. Then a voice comes from off stage in front of the stage, the part used earlier in the show.)

Casper:
(Off stage) No. No no no no no no. Look at her! (He enters, his followers, minus Jackson, in tow) Everyone, gather around! Look at this one, Spiff, I believe. What is she doing wrong? Stuart?

Stuart:
Oh... I don't... Don't start with me, start with someone else. I need time to, you know, think about it.

(Casper hits Stuart with the bat.)

Casper:
'Don't start with me?' What on earth are you talking about? I don't take requests! I'm not a Jukebox, the only hits I play are for people who don't do things properly. Although now that you mention it, you have been requesting those hits quite frequently, and I'm only too happy to oblige. (Hits him again) Stuart, you're not really trying are you? I hope to God you're not really trying, because if this is you really trying- You can't be really trying and that's that. So you'd better shape up or shut your mouth. Open your eyes and see what's right in front of us! It's obvious to everyone else here, isn't it?

Fourther:
The position she is in is ludicrous. No one could possibly get that way naturally, let alone stay that way comfortably.

Casper:
Good, Fourther! It draws attention away from what's happening, we're wondering if she's in pain. Next!

Elia:
Her butt is too big. She obviously doesn't work out.

Casper:
Absolutely! She needs one of those videos, what are they? Buns? Buns of... Steel? Yes! Pauling?

Pauling:
She never blinks. That's completely unrealistic. No one can not blink. It's impossible.

Casper:
You're right, Pauling, that is very true! Now I'm watching her eyes, waiting for her to blink. A carnival of circus monkeys could jump out now and I wouldn't notice, I'm still waiting for the blink. Hunte?

Hunte:
The blood is nice, although I don't understand what it means.

Casper:
You don't have to! You don't have to understand why! I agree, though, the blood is definitely the best part of the whole thing. I think we all really agree about that, right? (Pause.) Yes, of course we do! Well, let's have more of the blood then, ok? And maybe the bruises too, those are pretty good. Shall we help, people? (Pause) Yes, of course we should! Let's go, then!

(They attack Spiff as in the beginning, beating her mercilessly... but she doesn't move, of course, so they all slowly sort of lose interest in it. Awkward pause.)

Casper:
Well, she's not very cooperative, is she? She's not very receptive to this help at all. Forget her then! There are plenty of people just dying to hear what we have to say! It doesn't even matter, though, she still looks much better than before, don't you agree? (pause) Yes, of course we do! That bruise on her left butt cheek is particularly nice... who did that? Hunte? Well done, Hunte. That shape must have been hard to attain. Look closely, everyone; see how well the shape goes with the offset of color? That's fine workmanship. Well, you can't get blood from a stone, people, and this one seems like she's stoned off her ass, or something. Let's go find a more responsive subject. I refuse to be taken for granted for one minute more.

(Exeunt Casper and Co. Spiff is still dead on the floor, but in worse shape. Pause for a stay. Enter Ensor and Jackson.)

Ensor:
So I cleaned up the blood for the second time and then I went to wash the- Oh great! Who the hell left this out? (He exits quickly.)

Jackson:
Hey there, Spiff. Sorry about before, the peeping I mean. (He waits.) Hey, Spiff! Hello? Are you ok, Spiff? Spiff? (Pause) Hey, you don't want to talk to me, just say the word. I can take it. (Pause.) Spiff?

(He goes to her, to investigate her silence. Examines her. SCREAMS, waves his arms about wildly, screaming the whole time. Ensor, then Jared enter.)

Jared:
What's wrong?

Jackson:
There was a bug on me! Oh god, oh god, oh god!

Ensor:
Well, it's no wonder you have bugs in your room, Jared, this place is disgusting! You've always got this blood all over the floor! And what's this big thing in the puddle of blood?

Jackson:
Why is Spiff lying on the floor?

Jared:
She's Dead!

Jackson:
What?

Jared:
That's what I've been trying to tell you all!

Jackson:
You killed Spiff?

Jared:
I didn't do it!

Ensor:
Oh right. You just spilled her body all over your floor. Well, I can't clean her up right now; I'm still dealing with fixing the window you made Demnity smash your head through. (Exits)

Jackson:
So, what happened to her if you didn't do it?

Jared:
Well, I think that Demnity did it.

Jackson:
You think he killed his own girlfriend? What, for the insurance?

Jared:
I don't know why he did it, all I know is I woke up, and he was in here with her, having, you know, sex with her, and she was dead, and then he beat the crap out of me.

Jackson:
Well, you can't really blame him for that, you walked in on him having sex.

Jared:
But he KILLED her!

Jackson:
Well, slow down, you know? There's two sides to every fence, and if you sit on it, you can see the grass all around.

Jared:
What are we supposed to do with her? (Pause.)

Jackson:
What, me?

Jared:
Well, yeah.

Jackson:
Oh, ok... Let's pick her up.

(They do, Jared on the arms, Jackson on feet. Pause.)

Jared:
OK...

Jackson:
We'll put her on the bed. (They do. Pause.)

Jared:
Now what?

Jackson:
You go and see if you can find Demnity so we can get to the bottom of this. I'll stay here and guard Spiff.

Jared:
OK.

(Jared exits. Jackson looks around. Pause. He looks at Spiff. Did you remember that she is still naked? She is. He sits on the bed next to her. Pause. He reaches out tentatively towards her breast. Touches it. Fondles it. Looks around. Kisses it. Begins kissing all over her body. He is getting really into it. Demnity enters.)

Demnity:
What the fuck are you doing?

Jackson:
Demnity! Oh! Oh, Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me... I was just, you know-

Demnity:
Don't even say a word. I know what you were doing; I saw you. You were just sucking on my dead girlfriend's dead tits. And what the fuck did you do to her?

Jackson:
I'm sorry, I just thought, you know, since she was dead-

Demnity:
You're one sick fuck. I can't believe you. Come here. (pause) I said get the fuck over here. Now.

(Jackson slowly comes over. Demnity punches him in the face, and Jackson immediately begins holding his bleeding, probably broken nose. That's when Jared enters.)

Jared:
There you are! What the hell are you doing?

Demnity:
This sick fuck beat the crap out of Spiff and was sucking on her tits.

Jared:
You're the one who killed her!

Demnity:
Yeah, I killed her, but I didn't beat the shit out of her dead body! That's just weird. Besides, she's my fucking girlfriend; I can do whatever I want with her.

Jared:
(to Jackson) You beat her up?

Jackson:
No I didn't!

Jared:
Well then who did?

Jackson:
How should I know? I didn't even know she was dead until you told us. Maybe you beat her up!

Demnity:
You? First you watch me fuck her, then you fucking... flog her corpse? What the hell is wrong with you?

Jared:
I wasn't trying to watch you fuck! You were doing it in my room and I woke up. Besides you killed her! Isn't that worse than beating her up?

Jackson:
He admits it!

Demnity:
You fucking sicko!

Jared:
Wait!

(Demnity pounces on Jared and pounds him into the ground with his fists five or six times. Jackson watches intently. Demnity stops, gets up, straightens himself out, and:)

Demnity:
Let's go. My fist hurts. And no more licking Spiff! Christ.

Jackson:
I'm sorry...

(They leave. Jared lies there for a minute, silent. Then:)

Jared:
Ow.

(Ensor enters annoyedly carrying a rolled up Tarp. He flops it down on the floor and starts to unroll it.)

Jared:
I hate when they do that.

(Ensor turns on the radio. The best song ever recorded is on. Jared gets up, weakly. Ensor starts to hum along with the radio, goes and picks up Spiff. Jared is standing now.)

Jared:
I love this song. This is my favourite song. Whenever I'm upset, it makes me feel so much better.

(Jared begins to sing along with the radio, and tapping his foot. Ensor puts her on the tarp, exits, and returns with an axe. Jared is dancing as he sings. Ensor, very loudly, chops off Spiff's arm with the axe.)

Jared:
ENSOR! What are you doing?

Ensor:
Well, it won't fit in a garbage bag the way it is. I've got to break it up into smaller pieces.

Jared:
Ensor, that's Spiff!

Ensor:
Well, she's making a mess, and I won't have it.

(He chops off her other arm.)

Jared:
Stop! Give me that! (He takes the axe from Ensor.)

Ensor:
Just because you don't clean up after yourself doesn't mean no one else can.

Jared:
Ensor, are you an idiot? Demnity Killed Spiff! Murder! If the police find out... I don't know what we can tell them! She's been killed, raped, beat up, and now chopped in pieces and no one has even called the police yet! Now stop worrying about the cleanliness of the room and start worrying about going to prison!

(Pause. Ensor refuses to look at Jared.)

Ensor:
Fine. You clean this up then. The 'idiot' is going shopping.

(Ensor leaves. Jared screams in frustration. Jackson runs into the room.)

Jackson:
What's wrong? Are you ok?

Jared:
Jackson, I am not going to answer that. I am not going to answer that, because if you don't know what's wrong by now, me telling you is not going to make a difference.

Jackson:
Oh, you mean the Spiff thing?

Jared:
YES!

Jackson:
Oh, don't worry about it. It's all ok.

Jared:
What? How is it ok?

Jackson:
We found Demnity. (Pause)

Jared:
And?

Jackson:
He said he killed her. (Pause)

Jared:
And?

Jackson:
So we don't have to worry about it. We know who did it.

Jared:
We already knew who did it! We were never 'worried' about who did it, we're 'worried' about what to do with a dead, raped, beaten, chopped up body!

Jackson:
Oh. (Pause) Why did you chop her arms off?

(Pause. Jared looks at the axe in his hands. Pause again.)

Jared:
Because I've gone mad! I'm crazy! And if you don't get Demnity back in this room in one minute, I AM GOING TO CHOP UP EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!

(Jackson runs out of the room and returns with Demnity about twenty seconds later.)

Jared:
Now listen up, both of you!

Demnity:
Hey, who the fuck do you think you are, calling us in here like a bunch of dogs coming to dinner?

Jared:
Just, just shut up, I want to say some things here, I-

Demnity:
And what's this axe shit? You think you're tough shit now, you've got an axe?

Jared:
Shut Up!

Demnity:
'Oh, look guys, I've got an axe, now I'm a tough guy, yes I am! Back up or I'll cut you with my axe!'

Jared:
I'm warning you to shut up!

Demnity:
Or what? Or you'll chop my arms off like you did to Spiff here? It won't be so easy with me; I'm still alive, asshole!

Jackson:
First he beat her, then he chopped her up. He told me so.

Jared:
I didn't cut her arms off! I didn't cut her arms off, Ensor did.

Demnity:
Right, like he'd leave a mess like this out. I'll tell you Jared, I've known you for a long fucking time and seen you do a lot of stupid shit, that's why I have to beat the crap out of you sometimes, but this... this is the fucking crown jewel of shit. This totally takes the fucking crap cake. You're gonna-

Jared:
BACK OFF! (He swings the axe at Demnity, just missing him.)

Jackson:
He's gone mad!

Demnity:
Hey! Jesus! OK, then. Fuck it, talk, shithead, talk. And it had better be good.

Jared:
Alright then! OK.

(pause)

Demnity:
Well?

Jared:
OK, ok! Here it is: You! (Demnity) You killed Spiff! Then you raped her! And apparently, so did you. (Jackson)

Jackson:
It wasn't rape, it was molestation. She never said no.

Demnity:
Well, she didn't fucking say no to me either, she was dead, asshole!

Jared:
STOP IT! It doesn't matter what she said! She didn't want you to touch her, and she sure as hell didn't want to die!

Jackson:
How would you know, did you ask her?

Jared:
YES!

Jackson:
When?

Jared:
Shut up! The point is, if we don't figure out what we're going to do with her soon, someone's going to come looking for her and we're all going to be in trouble, understand? We'll go to jail! Do you want that? Huh? Jackson, do you? You'll have no problem finding you first sexual experience there. And you'll have no shortages of people to push around, Demnity, so I guess the two of you want to go to jail, right? Well I DON'T. I didn't kill her, I didn't fuck her, I didn't beat her, and I didn't cut her, all I did was get my ass kicked all day, but now I am faced with the very real possibility of being punished for one or all of these crimes. If you want to be arrested, call the cops and confess, otherwise, let's figure out how to get all of us out of this mess, ok? (pause)

Demnity:
Give me that fucking axe.

Jared:
What? No.

Demnity:
Give it to me, you self-centered fuck.

Jared:
No way!

Jackson:
You'd better give it to him.

Demnity:
You call us into the room and go on about how you don't want to go to jail? How do you think I feel? That's my fucking girlfriend that died there!

Jared:
You killed her!

Demnity:
It doesn't matter how she died, it's still a fucking loss, shithead! God you're so insensitive!

Jared:
Stay back! Stay away from me!

Jackson:
Just give him the axe.

Demnity:
Give it here.

Jackson:
No!

(Demnity comes for it. Jackson swings the axe and nicks Demnity's arm. Demnity falls. Jackson goes to him. Jared throws down the axe.)

Demnity:
Fuck!

Jackson:
Oh, my God what did you do?

Jared:
I don't know... I'm sorry!

Demnity:
You cut me, you piece of shit!

Jackson:
What the hell are you thinking, Jared?

Jared:
I'm sorry, I just... I wanted you to listen.

Demnity:
Well, we did listen, you dick, and we decided you were full of crap.

Jackson:
Yeah, have some respect for other people's opinions.

Jared:
I didn't mean to cut you, I just... I didn't want to get hurt.

Demnity:
Oh, look at the little pussy, he didn't want to get hurt so he hurt me. Do you think that's how this fucking works?

Jared:
No...

Demnity:
No? So how does it work?

Jared:
I don't know.

Demnity:
No?

Jackson:
You have to be punished. How else will you learn?

Jared:
But I've already learned.

Demnity:
I don't think you have, dickwad.

Jackson:
Neither do I, ... shit... face. How's your fist feeling?

Demnity:
Better.

(They both begin to pummel Jared yet again, for longer and harder than ever before. He doesn't even try to escape. Eventually, he is merely a mess on the floor again. The two stop, breathing hard. Jackson gives him an extra kick for good measure.)

Jackson:
Yeah! That was... fucking great!

Demnity:
That was the best one in a while. I remember when he finished all the fucking pasta, that was a good one, too. I had a tooth embedded in my fist after that, hurt like fuck, but it was so worth it.

Jackson:
Really? It hurt, but it was good?

Demnity:
Oh, yeah! Let's go get drunk, I'll tell you all about it.

Jackson:
Ok.

(They leave. There is a long pause. Then Jared starts to get up. Then he falls again. He starts to weep. To cry. To sob. He tries to get up again, slightly more successful, but it's slow going. Eventually, with much work, he stands. Then he starts to walk a bit, still sobbing. With slow steps, he goes to the axe. He picks it up. He goes over to Spiff. He throws all his energy into it: he lifts the axe, shakily, over his head, and brings it down, lopping off her leg. This makes the sobbing erupt even more. He does it again. And again. It builds until he is chopping wildly and making her body into very small pieces. During this Ensor reenters, watches for a minute, building up anger. He crosses past Jared (who stops chopping when he sees him) to the phone, and picks it up. Dials three numbers.)

Ensor:
Hello? Can I have the police? Yes, I do have an emergency. There's a man here chopping people up with an axe. Yes, if you could. Thanks.

(Ensor looks at Jared, exits. Jared drops the axe, curls up on his knees on the floor, crying. There is speaking off-stage, in the front again, followed by the entrance of Casper and his followers, except Jackson.)

Casper:
(off-stage) Yes... this is more like it. (They enter) It always does come to this, doesn't it? (Pause) Yes, of course it does! I could have told you this would happen years ago, had you asked. But you didn't ask did you? Ah ha! You see? You don't even know to ask, and I already know the answer. For example, when Stuart here was just a babe, you could have brought him to me, and said 'What will he be?' and e'en then I could have told you he would grow up to the mocking smirks of his fellow classmates. But I digress, as I was saying: I knew it from the day I first laid my fists on that Jared, I said to myself, 'This will all end in tears, Casper.' And what is it here? Tears. You see? (Pause) Yes, of course we do! Good. This seems to be a big improvement. Now, what do we see? What is happening? Observations?

Hunte:
You can see the teardrops hitting the floor. It has a great effect, especially combined with all the blood.

Pauling:
The gasps he's making are wonderful. Very realistic. It almost hurts to hear them.

Elia:
The redness of his face works for him here. It looks like he really is in pain, inside and out.

Fourther:
They way he's curled into himself is beautiful, all doubled over like that. It creates a really striking image. I like it. (pause)

Casper:
Stuart?

Stuart:
I don't... no, I don't think it's... he's crying. He's hurt. Why do you like that?

Casper:
Stuart, you just don't understand, do you?

Stuart:
No, I do understand. I understand and I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to hit him anymore. He's just a person, a human being, just like us. We're no better.

Casper:
Well, maybe you're not. (The others laugh)

Stuart:
Neither are you. None of you. God, you're worse, trying to make him do things the way you like it for no reason other than your own pathetic tastes, and you-

(Casper hits him over the head with the bat, knocking him out.)

Casper:
Ok then, back to work. Jared here. Hmmm... Well, since you all like this so much... let's make this difficult, shall we? What do you think could be done to improve this scene? (Pause) Oh, come now, you must be able to think of something. Pauling?

Pauling:
I like it, actually.

Fourther:
Me too.

Casper:
None of you has any ideas? (They all indicate no one way or another.) Well then, I have one, since none of you are brave enough to speak up. (He goes on the main part of the stage where Jared is crying.) There is always room for improvement when it comes to this one. Something is always left unfinished, Jared always forgets to go that one final step, to do what everything has been building to. (He picks up the axe.) But I can help him; that's just the kind of guy I am.

(Casper raises the axe above his head to imbed it into Jared's back, but as he is about to swing, a gunshot is heard, blowing his head apart. Casper's followers scramble away, exiting. A Cop enters, holding a gun in one hand and a radio in the other.)

Cop:
(Into the radio) I got him! (Static from the radio) Yeah, I had to use lethal force. (Static) It's the guy, axe and all. He was about to get another one. (To Jared) Are you alright?

Jared:
(looking up timidly) I think so.

Cop:
Yeah, he's ok. (Static) Send somebody over to clean this place up would you? It's a mess in here.

Ensor:
(Offstage) Don't bother! (Enters) I've been trying to keep it clean all day; it's a waste of time.

Cop:
Cancel that clean up, would you? (Static) Thanks for the tip, pal.

Ensor:
(Glares at Jared) Don't mention it. (Exits)

Cop:
You sure you're ok, kid?

Jared:
(Getting to his feet again, wiping his face off) Well, I, I guess so... I just-

Cop:
No, it's ok. I'll just get out of your way then. Thanks for the call. Keep up the good work.

(The Cop handcuffs Casper, grabs his feet, and drags him out the door. Jared stands there blankly. Eventually, he works up the impetus to go turn on the radio. It is the best song ever recorded again. He smiles weakly, walks to his bed. Gets in. Closes his eyes. Lights out.)

The End