Characters:
Narrator
Bobby
Pandora
Hope
Jason Brandt

Bobby: (this will be inside his head, so quiet and perhaps slightly echoed or something? He’s just waking up) Wha…oh god, my head is throbbing. What happened to me? (beat) Oh my god! Am I blind!? I can’t see I can’t see I can’t see! Okay Bobby, hold on. Um…open your eyes. Okay good. Oh hey, Pandy’s here. She looks pretty…

Narr: Bobby Kurtzman had spent most of his days pining after Pandora Darling in the halls and classrooms of Carousel High School. But ever since Pandy had discovered that her mother had a habit of killing people whom she claimed were part of a conspiracy against the nation, Bobby had found himself in a number of uncomfortable positions. His memory had been erased once, only to return at the site of one of Hope’s victims. He had been locked in one of Hope’s boxes, which was admittedly more uncomfortable for Pandora, who had been locked in with him. Now he was waking up in a car next to Pandy and his head was throbbing.

Bobby: (quietly) P-Pandy?

Pandy: (sorry, even affectionate?) You’re awake.

Bobby: My head really hurts, Pandy. What’s going on?

Pandy: Do you remember anything?

Bobby: Kind of. We were at your grandparents’ house – well, were they your grandparents?

Pandy: I don’t think so.

Bobby: There was fighting, and that’s all I remember.

Pandy: Yeah, you…uh…fell asleep.

Bobby: (a little freaked) is…is that a bandage on my head?

Pandy: Yeah. You got shot.

Bobby: Shot!?

Hope: Don’t worry, Bobby, I taught Pandy how to dress wounds.

Bobby: Um, maybe I’m wrong about this, but wouldn’t it be better to take me to the hospital?

Hope: No time, we’ve got to get to Jason Brandt.

Narr: Hope, Pandy, and Bobby had flown to Seattle to see Jason Brandt speak at a protest at the G8 Summit. Well, more accurately, Bobby had flown to Seattle to see Jason Brandt speak. Hope had flown to Seattle to save Jason Brandt from being killed, after decoding a message in the paper that she believed to be an assassination warning. Pandy had flown to Seattle to escape to her grandparents’ house. A lot of confusion and a few dead imposters later, the three found themselves in a rented car on the way to the G8 Summit. Jason Brandt was a very popular advocate for the middle and lower classes, and Hope firmly believed his life was in danger. Pandora was not giving up much of a fight, since she believed that her mother had been right about her grandparents being imposters. Bobby was excited to see Jason Brandt, of whom he was a big fan, but the whole getting shot in the head thing was upstaging that excitement for the moment.

Pandy: (apologetic, trying to be reassuring) I did a good job, Bobby. The bullet just grazed you, anyway.

Bobby: Pandy? I don’t want to say anything…mean about your mom or anything, but-

Pandy: It’s okay, believe me.

Bobby: Is she crazy?

Hope: No matter how many times you kids ask that, the answer isn’t going to change any.

Bobby: (sighs) Okay…(beat) Pandy?

Pandy: Yeah?

Bobby: You really think they’re going to kill Jason Brandt?

Pandy: I don’t know, Bobby. My mom was right about Gramma and Paka. They…they weren’t Gramma and Paka.

Bobby: Oh jeez, I forgot for a second. (grunts a little and mumbles) Ow, my head really hurts. (back to normal) What happened to your…to them?

Pandy: My mother…took care of them.

Bobby: Are they…(leans in and whispers) dead?

Pandy: Yeah.

Bobby: What…where…what did your mom do with the bodies?

Pandy: You really don’t want to know.

Bobby: Yeah okay. I’ll take your word for it.

Pandy: I hope real Gramma and Paka are okay.

Bobby: (really sympathetic…maybe comforting her will score him some poon) Think you’ll find them?

Pandy: I hope so. Mother called the police and reported them missing.

Hope: Okay, kids, we’re going to park here and walk over. No sense in trying to fight traffic. Bobby, are you okay to walk?

Bobby: I think so. We’ll find out soon enough, I guess.

Hope: Good. We’re going to need your help.

Bobby: What? Me?

Hope: Of course. Now, it’s exactly 12:17. He is scheduled to speak at 1. We should allow for twenty minutes to get there, which leaves us just about twenty minutes to assess the situation, make our way to the main protest stage, and get Brandt out of there.

Pandy: And what’s the plan for that?

Hope: We’ll have to work the details out when we get there. Just trust me.

Pandy: Great.

Bobby: Pandy, are we going to die?

Pandy: Bobby, if you ask me that one more time-

Bobby: Well sorry, but my throbbing head is a constant reminder of getting shot very recently and not being taken to the hospital!

Pandy: -I don’t care if you’ve had your memory erased or passed out and forgotten or what! We haven’t died yet so I’m just holding my breath until I get everything straight.

Bobby: My what erased!?

Pandy: Later, Bobby. For now we have to go…save…this guy.

Narr: The three made their way through the city to the Grand Hyatt. They elbowed through various crowds until Hope spotted a platform set up near the building. There was a large crowd around it, and police were already holding off large groups of people who were trying to get near the stage.

Bobby: There! There are rioters! The paper said they were going to get Jason, right?

Hope: That’s not them.

Bobby: Are there other ones?

Hope: No, those are rioters, but they are not here to get Brandt.

Pandy: Who, then?

Hope: Let’s get closer to the stage.

Bobby: It doesn’t look like we can get too close, there are police everywhere.

Hope: Just follow me.

Narr: The two teens followed Hope as she pushed her way up to the front of the stage.

Hope: I want you two to wait here. Don’t move. Pandy, I want you to survey the audience and tell me what you see when I get back.

Narr: Pandy and Bobby watched as Hope went up to one of the officers and whispered something in his ear. She was there for a couple of minutes, and then returned.

Pandy: What was that all about?

Hope: Bobby, you have sort of a backstage pass to talk to Brandt before he goes on.

Bobby: (excited) R-really?

Pandy: Uh, mom? Are you forgetting the bloody bandage on his head?

Hope: It’s fine. Bobby, I want you to go to Jason Brandt and say exactly what I tell you, alright?

Bobby: Okay, Mrs. Darling.

Narr: Hope gave Bobby his instructions and sent him on his way to Jason Brandt.

Hope: Now, Potato, did you get to scan the crowd at all?

Pandy: (hesitant) Yes…and I think I know who’s here to kill him?

Hope: That’s wonderful! Point them out to me.

Pandy: There’s a group of five men off to the left a little… right there.

Hope: Those men in suits there?

Pandy: Yeah.

Hope: And why did you identify them?

Pandy: Well they have been huddling and looking suspicious. They look out of place because they look like officials here for the G8 Summit, which means they would not be in the protest crowd. They seem upset about Jason Brandt causing a disturbance.

Hope: (not thrilled, but reassuring) Not bad.

Pandy: Really?

Hope: Well, your reasoning was off, and two men would have died unnecessarily had you acted on your suspicion. But it was a good first try.

Pandy: What do you mean?

Hope: Group those five people into two groups – one consisting of the two men closest to us, and one consisting of the three men furthest away from us.

Pandy: Okay…

Hope: Now try and notice a difference between the two groups.

Pandy: I’m trying, Mother, but I just don’t see it.

Hope: (serious, wistful) There’s a dark cloud over those who wish to destroy our livelihood.

Pandy: You’re weirding me out again.

Hope: You’ll get there, Pandy.

Pandy: I guess.

Hope: Come, Bobby’s coming back with Brandt. Now I need you to do something.

Pandy: Oh god, what now?

Hope: I need you to go to the street and jack a car for us.

Pandy: What!?

Hope: Do you remember how to disable a car alarm?

Pandy: (hesitant, weirded out) Yeah…

Hope: And how to get it to start?

Pandy: (same, just a little more intense) Yeah…

Hope: Good. Now I need you to go to the street over here, jack a car, and drive up just to where that post is. Got it?

Pandy: What? Why? We have our car parked already! And how do I remember how to jack a car? I’ve never done that before!

Hope: There won’t be enough time to get to our car. And you remember because I trained you with my audio training files. Now go!

Narr: Pandora threw up her hands in disgust, but was starting to know better than to argue with her mother. Besides, the incident with her fake grandparents had made Pandora secretly wonder if her mother was actually not crazy. Meanwhile, Bobby had timidly gone up to Jason Brandt who was waiting near the main protest stage.

Bobby: Uh…Ja-Mr. Brandt?

Brandt: (friendly, maybe even a little too excited to see him) Oh hey, kid!

Bobby: They said I could come back and talk to you.

Brandt: Sure, it’s not problem – uh, what happened to your head?

Bobby: (sheepish) Oh, that. It’s kind of a long story. I fell on the way here, and I just…well I just wanted to get here in time, so…

Brandt: Are you okay!? Do you need to see someone?

Bobby: Oh please, no, I’m really okay. It’s a small scrape. It’s really just so great to meet you, I can’t believe it. I follow your work very closely.

Brandt: Well it’s always great to meet a fan. Do you want to go grab a cup of coffee or something?

Bobby: (slightly taken aback) Well gee, I’d love to, but don’t you have a speech to make?

Brandt: (disappointed, foiled) Yeah, I guess I do.

Bobby: Oh hey, but I wanted to ask you – and you don’t have to say yes, of course, but I thought that since I’m here and they let me talk to you…do you have a few minutes for an interview? I’d love to post it on my blog.

Brandt: Hey, sure!

Bobby: (sheepish, bumbling as always) I just feel stupid because I didn’t bring my notepad over. But my…mom has one, and she’s waiting just outside the stage entrance over there – would you mind coming to meet her and then I can ask you a few questions?

Brandt: Not at all, kid! This sounds like fun.

Narr: Bobby led Brandt over to where Hope was standing just next to the entrance to the stage.

Bobby: Jason Brandt, this is my…mom.

Hope: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Brandt. I’m a pretty big fan myself.

Narr: Hope leaned in a little too close to Brandt and took him by the arm. She pressed the butt of a gun into his back and, maintaining a smile, explained that he should go along quietly with her if he didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Jason Brandt hurriedly obliged, and the three of them made their way through the crowd. Hope scanned the audience as she passed and noticed that the small group of men she had been watching earlier was starting to make a fuss, most likely because the keynote speaker had disappeared so quickly and mysteriously. She spotted a car pulling up awkwardly and quickly to the post she had identified and hurried Brandt and Bobby to it. She pushed Brandt and Bobby into the backseat and pulled a small piece of black cloth out of her back pocket.

Hope: Pandora. Listen carefully to me. I am going to close this door and you are going to roll down your window and start driving away. When I tell you, you are to jump into the passenger’s seat, okay?

Pandy: Are you nuts? What are you doing?

Narr: Pandy was watching her mother unfold the black cloth and strap it around her face, positioning the holes in the cloth around her eyes.

Hope: Just do as I say.

Narr: Hope slammed the back door of the stolen vehicle.

Bobby: (panicked) Pandy, what the hell is your mom doing!?

Pandy: I don’t know, but it seems like the only thing to do is drive.

Narr: Hope banged on the back door window and Pandy took a deep breath. She rolled down her window and stepped on the gas. Hope leapt to the top of the car. As Pandy drove away behind the crowd, Hope drew out her gun and fired three silenced shots directly into the heads of the three men she had identified as CASK agents. As a great commotion started around the stage, Hope leaned down on the driver’s side of the car and yelled through the window.

Hope: Move, Pandy!

Narr: Pandy jumped clumsily into the passenger’s seat and Hope slid herself through the window and into the driver’s seat. She whipped off her mask and threw it into the backseat. She took the wheel, gun still in her right hand, and stepped on the gas.

Bobby: Oh my god!

Pandy: This gets crazier every time.

Brandt: Your mom is awesome!

Bobby: (offended) She’s not my mom!

Pandy: Though sometimes I wish she was.

Brandt: What?

Hope: Never mind. You’ll thank us later, Jason. We’ve just saved your life.

Brandt: Oh, I know. And I am forever indebted to you.

Hope: You know?

Pandy: What?

Brandt: I know all about the conspiracy.

Hope: You-you do?

Pandy: Is EVERYONE crazy!?

Brandt: I was desperately looking for a way out of that situation. Thank you so much for saving me. Really, I can’t thank you enough.

Hope: (hesitant) So…you know about CASK?

Brandt: About what?

Hope: You said something about the conspiracy.

Brandt: I didn’t know it had an official name or anything, but I was talking about the G8 officials who are working for the aliens. They were going to kill me or abduct me today, I just know it.

Narr: Does Hope Darling have more on her hands than she bargained for? Is Brandt crazier than Pandora’s mother? Where will our three…heroes end up with this potential lunatic? Find out next week in "Alias."